Black as Sirius
by UnDeadGoat
Summary: A songfic of Paint It Black. Rather hard for me to explain, but read it! PG-13 is for swearing, depressingness.


**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and all related characters, places, events, etc. are the property of J.K. Rowling and associated publishers. "Paint It Black," was written by Michael Philip Jagger and Keith Richards, and is copyright ABKCO Music. The word I use are from my Vanessa Carlton CD, not my mom's Rolling Stones CD, so lyrics may be arranged by Ron Fair and Vanessa Carlton, I'm not sure. In other words, I own almost none of the below work.

**A/N:** I wrote this after I had been asleep for an hour, but Bob the Tapeworm, my most insistent idea muse, would not let me fall asleep until I'd finished. Sorry if it's a little odd, there will be rewrites, I promise.

**P.S.** I think this makes a little bit more sense with the Vanessa Carlton version than the Rolling Stones version – she has a deadened tone that I think expresses the mood perfectly.

**P.P.S.** The formatting on the song is virtually the same as it is in the "Be not Nobody" liner notes.

**P.P.P.S.** I know the original is a love song, but I thought it fit the situation perfectly. It's certainly depressing enough. And it's a great song.

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**_"SIRIUS!" Harry yelled, "SIRIUS!"_******

_I see a red door and I want it panted black_

_no colors anymore, I want them to turn black_

_I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes_

_I have to turn my head until my darkness goes_

Nothing mattered any more. Nothing. Ron and Hermione tried to talk to him, to make him come back to life, but nothing mattered. Nothing mattered any more. His once bright eyes were deadened, sullen. Nothing mattered.

_I see a line of cars and they are painted black_

_with flowers and my love both never to come back_

_I see people turn their heads and quickly look away_

_like a newborn baby it just happens every day_

Harry walked the halls of Hogwarts in a trance. His friends had made him eat. He didn't care. He didn't care whether or nor he ate. He didn't care whether he lived or died. The world was nothing. Nothing without Sirius.

_I look inside myself and see my heart is black_

_I see my red door and it's heading into black_

_maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts_

_it's not easy facing up when your whole world is black_

His world was black. His heart was black. And his thoughts dwelt on Black – Sirius Black. He looked out at the sea of students in their black robes. That was good. There was nothing left for him – nothing but black. Or maybe – Harry shuddered – not even black.

_I wanna see it painted, painted black, oh, baby_

_I wanna see it painted, painted black, oh, baby_

Harry felt more than nothing now. He was angry. Dean had asked him if he was all right. Harry exploded. "WHY THE HELL WOULD I BE ALL RIGHT? YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANT TO ME!" He'd been furious. He knew Dean didn't know what he was talking about, but he didn't care. He needed to yell. Five minutes after Dean left, Harry was still yelling. Harry finally managed to get ahold of his temper, but only on the outside. On the inside, he was seething.

_No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue_

_I could not foresee this thing happening to you_

_If I look hard enough into the setting sun_

_my love will laugh with me before the morning comes_

Harry once again was in the Death Chamber, as Dumbledore had called it, at the Department of Mysteries, a month after school had ended. Harry was sure that some Unspeakables has seen him through his invisibility cloak, but he didn't care. None of them had tried to stop him. He was here, and that was what mattered. Now his grief was again raw, his heart torn open at the very sight of the place Sirius had fallen. His entire consciousness became focused on the black of the tattered curtain where Sirius had disappeared. Hours passed as Harry stared at the archway.

_I wanna see it painted painted, painted black, oh_

_black as night, black as coal_

_I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky_

_painted, painted, painted black oh baby_

_painted painted, painted black_

As Harry stepped out of the Ministry, he remembered something Luna had said to him the night of the closing feast.

 **_"You heard them, just behind the veil, didn't you? In that room with the archway. They were just lurking out of sight, that's all. You heard them."_**

Then, Harry realized Luna had been right. He _had_ heard them. Sirius wasn't gone forever. And, as he looked up at the night sky, he realized that his world would not be black forever. A great weight seemed to lift off Harry's chest. The first silent tears washed the dullness away from his eyes. And hope once again dwelt in the heart of the Boy Who Lived.

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"Lookup into the night sky, and the brightest star you see amidst the Black is Sirius."

~Unknown

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 **A/N:** This is my first attempt at writing a songfic, so I'd appreciate reviews!


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